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  1. Going back to the real world…aka working again

    June 29, 2011 by lizblog

    My last days at home. 3 months has flown by.  I was only just starting to feel normal again after the first month, so this gave me a whopping 2 months to figure everything else out. Going back to work now will be rough, considering we’re still not sleeping through the night.  At most I get 5 hrs at a time and that is on an especially good night, sometimes its no more than 2 hours…ugh.  My attempts at any real schedule have been pretty fruitless.

    That’s his sucker punch for me.  He’s becoming a real fighter now, a real tough guy…arms punching and legs kicking.  And I’ll sure need a good punch to get through my work day on 2+ hours of sleep.

    We haven’t been separated for more than 5 hours at a single time since his birth.  5 is our magic number here.  Now we’ll be separated at least 11 hours a day, 4 days in a row. During this separation time my boobs will need to maintain his only source of sustenance.

    Aside from worrying about some separation anxiety I’m worried about keeping my boobs flowing without him yelling at them to work 24/7.  Maybe a skype session can help with that,  while I sit in the ladies bathroom stall with my pump?  Oh the joy…   It really seems more appealing to be an African tribal native about now.  My job would involve sitting out in an open plain with my babe on my breast, while I work hard at making clay pots or mashing some kind of grub for the menfolk when they get home from their hunt.


  2. Breastfeeding your child/young adult

    June 1, 2011 by lizblog

    There is much discussion on the internet and among parents about how long to breastfeed your baby.
    For some women a few weeks is more than enough, for some 6 months or 1 year is the time to start weaning.

    I think how long you breastfeed is a personal choice and I dislike when people tell me I really don’t need to breastfeed (as if I’m being pressured into doing this) or vis versa, that you’re denying your baby all the benefits of breastmilk if you choose to stop before 1 or 2 years

    For this woman, she decided to not decide when to stop breastfeeding and now it seems she could be breastfeeding well into retirement.

    At the moment, I don’t know how long I’ll breastfeed my baby, but you can be very certain it won’t be this long.  I would like my boobs back before they start sagging.


  3. Babymilk, a new fragrance to make you smell just like a newborn again

    June 1, 2011 by lizblog

    I’ve had many people who hold my baby comment on how good he smells. Finally I asked one of the admirers of my baby’s fragrance what exactly he smells like. They said milk. Makes sense, since all he drinks is my breastmilk. I suppose that would mean they like the smell of my milk emitting through my baby’s skin. Perhaps soon I will market this baby fragrance.

    Babymilk

    a newborn fragrance

    Coming soon to a Duane Reade near you

     


  4. Things to do with a 7 week old that barely sleeps

    May 17, 2011 by lizblog

    Give up on getting anything done for yourself…it aint gonna happen.

    Accept the fact that any activity will only maintain interest for 15 min tops.

    • put a bunch of animals around and make voices and characters for each of them
    • play music/sing/play an instrument (note: I do all of these badly, but they are entertaining I’m sure)
    • keep alternating his location to keep him distacted
    • move his arms and legs for some baby aerobics
    • pretend baby’s a plane and let him fly around in your arms
    • bench press baby (lifting a 10lb baby several reps a day will definitely tone up those muscles)
    • walk around the house holding him (he’ll probably fall asleep and then wake up if you dare to put him down)
    • play him youtube videos of other babies
    • read a story (the attention span for this is about 2-4 min)
    • take him outside for a walk/drive (the preparation for this can take a while between eating/pooping/burping/fussing)

    When all else fails feed him and let him sleep on you (this will give you time to catch up on some bad daytime tv)


  5. Things To Do While Breastfeeding

    May 7, 2011 by lizblog

    • talk on the phone
    • read a book/magazine
    • watch tv
    • dance/sing (pretend baby’s the guitar)
    • type/chat with one hand (perfecting it now)
    • practice becoming ambidextrous -I’m not so good yet. I never figured out playing baseball either
    • write a check, letter, list etc (again depends which hand, could be illegible)
    • eat (works best with left hand)
    • cook rice or pasta (meat doesn’t work well and make sure the kid’s far from all burners)
    • clean out a cabinet (not recommended– dangerous if something falls)
    • wash hands (one at a time)
    • pump milk– on opposite boob. “moo!”
    • yell at the cats
    • wipe up baby boogers
    • wipe my own boogers (you didn’t need to know that)
    • tickle baby (he hates this)
    • sleep (I do this way too often)

    All this and after only a month of practice!


  6. Things They Don’t Tell You When You’re Pregnant (Or That May Seem Too Unbelievable To Be True):

    May 5, 2011 by lizblog

    • you will bleed for a a full month or two after you give birth—my doc explained it as 9 months of period coming out at once…fun!
    • afterward everything hurts- it hurts to walk, it hurts to pee, just forget about doing a BM- you won’t even want to attempt that for weeks. just eat lots of prunes
    • i am not a supermodel/out-of-reality TV star…my clothes do not fit the same and my belly and belly  button just look sadly abused and deformed
    • newborns cry…a lot.
    • feeding every 2 hours is not feed for 15 minutes and take a two hour break.  It’s feed for an hour and then there’s a half hour of burping and farting until he’s finally able to sleep for 20 minutes if you’re lucky, or maybe he just lays there making lots of nasal breathing noises and hiccups and then he poops it all out (in yellow seed form) and then now screams for more food.
    • breastfeeding- is just that…a hungry animal feeding off your breast…that nipple will be abused in every way.. gnawed on, stretched and when babies latch on its like a super bolt lock suction…not easy to break

    The best part is you’ll hurt more if you don’t feed him…engorgement is like a super boob job about to explode